Hate is a Strong Word but Darling it Fits
by catherine-mairead
Summary: "I hate you." He had heard them before, he had even heard them from her, but never like this. Never while her eyes were stars that were burning out in a supernova that would surely destroy her too. Never while poison spilled from her lips like it was honey, like she couldn't get enough.


**This is lazy but I need to start writing again. **

The flames wrapped around her cheeks and set her skin ablaze, while her hands trembled under the weight of her sins. She tasted blood in her mouth as she spit out screams ripped from her throat, words tumbled forth that she couldn't take back.

"_I hate you."_

He had heard them before, he had even heard them from her, but never like this. Never while her eyes were stars that were burning out in a supernova that would surely destroy her too. Never while poison spilled from her lips like it was honey, like she couldn't get enough.

"_I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."_

Over and over and over like she was a record with a scratch and he was the fool who had bought it. Her cheeks were wet with tears but for the first time he didn't want to dry them for her. For the first time, he wanted her to sit there and drown in the mess she created for herself and only herself. He wanted her to _hurt_.

"_I hate you more."_

She froze, taken aback by what this boy, _her boy, _had said. This wasn't supposed to happen, this was never supposed to happen. She was supposed to scream and cry and suffer because life dealt her an unfair hand while he stroked her hair and whispered in her ear.

"_I hate you, I hate you, I hate you"_

"_No you don't, no you don't, no you don't" _

He wasn't supposed to fight back, he _couldn't_ fight back. He was her boy and he knew what she'd done, what had been done to her. How could he hate her when he so obviously loved her? How could he hate her when she gave up everything that made her feel safe and everything that was home, just so he _could_ love her.

"_Leave me alone."_

Alone like she'd always been. Alone like he'd always been. Two lonely kids with nothing to lose but each other, two kids against the whole wide world.

Except he wasn't alone, not anymore. He had a family, while all she had was him and memories of people that had probably long forgotten about her. Long forgotten about a shy little girl with stringy braids and a chipped front tooth, who only laughed when it was an accident and always looked guilty afterwards. Long forgotten about a sad little girl who shattered glass and left cracks in concrete, who never meant to hurt anyone at all. No one remembered the little girl she was. All anyone remembered was the monster she grew up to be.

So if he didn't love her, who would?

"_Why can you hate me, but I can't hate you?" _

She didn't hate him, of course she didn't hate him. How could he ever think that she hated him when she absolutely adored him to the point where it scared her entirely. She loved him more than she could imagine, more than memories of better times and the rush that crime gave her. She loved him more than her life, her life that was full of dark trees with faces and monsters under her bed. Her life, that wasn't good enough for him, for he was the sun that brought light to the trees and the glow that scared the monsters away. Her life, where he was always the hero, but she was still going to be the bad guy.

"_Because I never meant it."_

She wanted him to feel her hurt, to feel what she felt because pain sucks and misery loves company. Her own misery overcame her and left her as just the shell of a girl because years of wear and tear have left her broken and worthless. She wanted him to leave because no one ever stayed and if he just left now it would be easier than later. Eventually he would realize there wasn't enough of her left to love, there wasn't a point in loving someone who was filled with only _bad_. Bad, bad things like the dark and demons and misfortune. She wanted him to have someone he deserved, not someone he pitied.

But she never, _ever_, wanted him to hate her.

"_..."_

He didn't say anything after that. He just sighed and sat down next to her on the floor of their dingy apartment with walls so thin that the neighbors were bound to have heard them. He put his head in his hands and turned to her with eyes so dull they could be mistaken as grey,

"_What are we gonna do?"_

She sobbed into his shirt and apologized 1000 times over. She sung his praises and spoke of her faults and he shushed her with his finger because she may be difficult but to him she was still _amazing_.

"_What are we gonna do"_

"_Burn each other out."_

**What even was that, you may ask. Well let me tell you, I have no idea. **


End file.
